Unkle Munky Pg 119
Sunky would like to make it clear that the Munky’s primitive opinions are not necessarily a reflection of his own… primitive opinions. ---- This week Munky is so human... Artist - Lady Sovereign. Song - So Human. *Click here to play... *Videos prone to removal. ---- On This Day in History It was on this day in 1984 that the leader of the National Union of Mineworkers, Arthur Scargill, lost his comb. "Has anyone seen my comb?" ---- Surprise! Sally from Ballykinler asks - Dear Unkle Munky, I have recently discovered that a surprise birthday party is to be held in my honour. My acting skills are very limited and I am worried that a fake look of surprise might raise suspicions. What can I do? Unkle Munky says -''' Dear Sally, The human face expresses surprise via eyebrow elevation. I would suggest on this occasion, however, that you simply feign a look of authentic astonishment by applying cosmetics to the freshly plucked area of said brows. *Pictured prior to the party - Sally having her eyebrows doctored by close friend, Max Factor. ---- UK Munky Gold Plus One '''17:00 Tony Blackburn’s Celebrity Challenge This week Tony challenges David Gray to sing without nodding his head. 18:00 Phil Collins ‘No Talent Required’ (Documentary) Phil Collins talks to Unkle Munky about his ability to brainwash people into thinking he’s talented. 19:00 Tears for Spears This week Britney attempts to overcome her innate fear of singing live. 20:00 Devon Knows I’m Miserable Now. Devonshire socialite, Sharon Jenkins, takes us out on the piss with her chavvy mates. 21:00 The Lazy Detective This week The Lazy Detective falls asleep whilst studying the work of Ms. Marple. 22:00 Sign Off ---- To Boldly Vend... Warren from Stevenage asks - Dear Unkle Munky, Did you receive my email regarding Nasa? I suspect my mate is pulling my plonker again and no mistake! Unkle Munky says -''' Dear Warren, I have contacted the relative authorities and am able to confirm that your friend is correct. Nasa Space Shuttle simulators were indeed originally designed to help astronauts make proper use of onboard vending facilities. ---- No Comic Relief for Munky ''Munky, I admire your commitment to Comic Relief but am a little concerned that your continuous wearing of the iconic red nose might lessen the impact of all subsequent fund raising events. Unkle Munky says -''' Ahem. I am not wearing a red nose! If you must know, I've had an allergic fuckin' reaction to that plastic monstrosity that you made me wear on Friday! And now, if you don't mind, I have creams to apply. Good day! ---- Showing Off Sharon from Lea on Sea asks - Dear Unkle Munky, I am a big fan of showing off and was wondering if you had any ideas as to how I might indulge my passion? 'Unkle Munky says -' Dear Sharon, Why not stand somewhere that is clearly out of bounds? Sharon replies - Wow. Thanks Munky! This is just the ticket! ---- Bungle's Barely News ---- Will Young Query Louise from Kent asks - Dear Unkle Munky, I've found a picture of Will Young in my boyfriend's wallet. Should I be worried? 'Unkle Munky says -' Dear Louise, You've every right to be concerned. I would recommend that you print the attached snap (see below). It's moodier, better lit and generally far more stylish than the picture that's currently in your boyfriend's possession. Louise replies - Oh fer god's sake! I'm not concerned about the general composition of the snap, you idiot! I'm worried that he might be gay! 'Unkle Munky adds -' Uh? Everyone knows that Will is gay? What's the problem? Louise sighs - I give up... ---- Munky's HeadLies ---- So Near So Spa Jason from East Lothian asks - Dear Unkle Munky, Would it be okay to use my mum's Foot Spa as a Jacuzzi for my goldfish? 'Unkle Munky says -' Wow! What an intriguing question. One second please... ''Ms. Motion Sickness (Munky's assistant) says - Munky! Where are you going with my heated Foot Spa!?'' 'Unkle Munky returns -' Shut up Mary. Dear Jason, Using a Foot Spa as a goldfish Jacuzzi is perhaps not such a great idea... Especially if said foot spa is of the heated persuasion. ''Ms. Motion Sickness (Munky's assistant) says - Oh fer fuck's sake!'' '''Please Note: No fishes, be they gold or otherwise, were harmed during this week's Unkle Munky. Thank You ---- Munky's Twitterings. Munky is now available on [http://twitter.com/UnkleMunky Twitter>>>] ---- Next... Previous... More Munky Here>>> Munky's Twitterings>>>